Nothing
irritates me quite as much as any person (regardless of gender) says “I’m not a
feminist”, because taking into account the truest definition of the word “feminist”,
they are basically saying “I don’t support equal rights for all genders”. This post is how to respond to these haters
and educate them appropriately because women’s rights are human rights.
“I’m not a
feminist because I love men”
This is my
absolute worst to the extent that I could eye roll myself into another
dimension when someone says something as ridiculous as this. Feminism is not about hating any one or
disadvantaging any other group in favour of another. As per my previous post (how’s that passive
aggression), feminism is about removing barriers in society that disadvantage
only one section in terms of gender. It’s
not about choosing to hire a woman because of her gender instead of a man with
equal qualifications. It’s about
examining the applications without consideration of the applicants’ genders and
making the exact same offer to the successful candidate.
“I’m not a
feminist because I’ve always known that the genders are equal”
This may shock a
lot of people but, much like the rest of the world, it’s not about you. You may be a strong, independent woman who
has never experienced discrimination based on your gender because of your
strong personality and/or your economic status and/or your race. If you match this description, you are truly
one of the luckiest women in the world.
That doesn’t mean, however, that such discrimination does not
exist. Being a feminist doesn’t necessarily
mean becoming an equal rights activist and getting arrested during violent
protests (heaven forbid). Being a
feminist means you make yourself aware of the discrimination that exists so
that you can address it in whatever capacity suits you, whether it is joining a
protest or just simply calling out inappropriate misogynistic “jokes” in your
friend circle. I am aware that women are
as powerful as men in society but that doesn’t mean I will give up on all the
women who have yet to firstly realise this and secondly establish this in their
communities.
“I’m not a feminist
because I don’t believe that the women’s social issues of today, such as slut-shaming
and cat-calling, are as legitimate as those of the first and second waves of
feminism where it related to voting and having high-powered jobs”
Think of it this
way: you go for a medical check up and the doctor finds that you have a
cancerous tumour. Does it matter if the
tumour is the size of a jelly bean or an egg?
No, you still have cancer. The
same applies for women’s social issues: whether women are not able to vote or
are sexualised by a man shouting “hey baby” across the street, their rights are
still being infringed on (Please note, if you are a woman who is not offended
by cat-calling, who appreciates the attention and can accept it as a
compliment, you are fully entitled to do so and I certainly do not think any
less of you; this is for the women who feel violated and uncomfortable, which
they are also entitled to).
In the few
instances where I have been cat-called (I consider myself very fortunate to
only have limited experience), I have felt very uncomfortable and undermined as
a human being. On one occasion, I was
walking out of a shop and a man, in the middle of his group of friends, grabbed
my arm to stop me to talk to me. Did
this man intend to make me feel violated and uncomfortable? Probably not – he probably only wanted to
talk to me. However, his desire to
engage with me and his action of forcing me to stop to talk to him undermined
my right to not respond to him because of my discomfort of the situation I
found myself in and I did not have the option to leave freely without potential
conflict. Regardless of the severity of the infringement, my rights were still
infringed upon. Therefore, I am strongly
of the view that cat-calling is still a legitimate social issue.
This leads me to
the next argument...
“I’m not a
feminist because women are equally capable and/or responsible of infringing on
the rights of men and/or other genders.”
Yes.
Women are
assholes too. Surprise, surprise.
Get a grip. Remember, women’s rights are human
rights. If a woman sexually harasses a
man, if she sexually harasses a woman, or any other person of another gender, if
she tells a rape joke, if she slut-shames another person, if she does anything
to undermine the value and/or rights of another human being, she is guilty of
anti-feminist behaviour.
Being a feminist
is not about targeting men. It’s about
addressing any discrimination, regardless of who is discriminating.
I could go on
for quite a while, because there are countless websites and articles online
about why (mostly women sadly) are not feminists. It’s so disheartening to see how people
cannot reconcile themselves with feminism because of either their
misunderstanding of feminism or the overshadowing of feminist values by their
other views.
At the end of
this all, I believe that the best response to someone who rejects feminism is
simply this quote by Lena Dunham (who I actually don’t like in general), but it
summarises the notion entirely:
Feminism is
about every person’s autonomy to make their own decisions for themselves, to
participate positively in society and to live freely however they choose,
provided that they do not infringe on the rights of another person. The only reason to ever argue with someone
offering the arguments above is when said person is denying someone else their
rights. At worst, abandon the title ‘feminist’
for ‘humanist’, even though they are essentially synonyms.
My next post is
going to address institutionalised and internalised misogyny, aspects I feel
are facets of feminism that are commonly misunderstood and misinterpreted in
the application of feminist theory.
I hope this
series is helping you in your feminist journey, this Women’s Month. In preparation of my posts, I have had
numerous discussions and debates with the people around me and I have been
burning my feminist torch brightly.
Wishing you
infinite love and light until next time ♡♡♡