New
Years’ resolutions seem to have become a thing of the past, considering how
they quickly they vanish from the forefront of our consciousness when the
chocolate cake spins your way in the revolving refrigerators.
Every
year between January and February, there is a flood of new memberships the gym
for the “new year, new me” crowd who are finally going to shed those extra
5kg’s that have been clinging for dear life to their host body. By March, there are only a handful of them
left.
I
literally restart my language courses each year because I’ve forgotten
everything I learnt in the first few months I dedicated myself to it. I have diaries that I intend to plan my life
around, but I forget about them within a few weeks of the year. I clean my room every year, but by December
again, I have even more piles of shit to throw out that I hoarded over the
course of the year.
This
year, however, I have a completely new mindset.
Every single thing that runs through my head is now run through my
heart: how does that make you feel?
The
truth is, resolutions make me feel like shit.
They make me feel like a failure because I allowed life to overwhelm
me. They plant seeds of doubt for my
greater plans: if you can’t keep a diary up to date, how on earth will you get
a post-grad degree?
So
this year, the year I put myself first and take care of my own needs, I have
not made any resolutions. I don’t feel
like spending my year trying to keep up with a cool 2018 reading challenge –
which in principle is an amazing concept and I love the idea of (especially in
schools, teachers *cough cough*) – but will make reading exactly that:
challenging. I love to read; I’m
certainly not going to make it a chore for me to just tick boxes off on a
list.
I
have not resolved to eat more strictly as per my dietary limitations. I’m going to do what is best for my body and
my soul. God may not have given me the digestive system to appropriately digest
lactose products but He certainly crafted ice cream for a divine purpose and
I’ll be damned if I let that go to waste.
In
terms of gym, the only goal I really strive for is my 16 check-ins per month to
get my maximum cash back reward from my medical aid and I’m not going to feel
one iota of shame for going to gym just to buy a dragon fruit smoothie bowl
from Kauai. I will train when I want to
and how I like to, whether that’s twice a day for three weeks, or once every
second week because that is what will make me feel best.
Goodbye
Tinder, goodbye Bumble (good riddance).
This year I’m all about nurturing and developing the relationships I
already have in my life – with my moms, my sisters, extended family members,
friends I’ve recently reconnected with, friends I made during 2017. I no longer wish to start meaningless
conversations with random strangers.
Yes, free coffee is nice, but for the price of that coffee, I could have
an hour to myself and a book and a
coffee.
Most
importantly, I’m no longer restricting myself to writing just about
makeup. I love makeup and I’m not going
to stop writing about it altogether, but I’m also going to be writing about
broader topics that interest me. Within
reason, of course, I mean, I have a degree in politics and work in HR – I am
100% sure that none of my readers will come back to read about how to legally
dismiss an employee in your organisation.
I
will go into more detail on this at a later stage, but in brief, 2017 was a
year of chaos for me. My entire future
collapsed around me 8 months in and I spent the last 4 months grieving for the
person I was and the plans I had made.
2018
is not a new chapter of my story. It is
the new volume, where the butterfly sheds the cocoon and leaves it behind. Where the nectar of flowers is so sweet, the
butterfly forgets that it ever sustained itself on ordinary leaves. Where the butterfly’s sole purpose is to feed
itself to contentment.
Wishing
you love and light and no more appallingly embarrassing metaphors ♡♡♡