There
truly is nothing quite as disappointing as buying a product that you’ve watched
a million beauty gurus hype on Youtube/Instagram/Snapchat, only to discover
that it is, in fact, shit. I could
probably have written that in a much nicer way, since my mother is going to
read this, but nothing irritates me quite as much as money not well spent.
Neutrogena HydroBoost
Micellar Water
Much
like Helen of Troy, whose face launched a thousand ships, this is the product
that launched my tirade on disappointing beauty products. I bought this about a week ago after reading
endless reviews on how amazing the entire range is (though we all know I would
NEVER cheat on Clinique for skincare).
During
the week, I only used it on my eye makeup, because that’s pretty much all I
wear, and that is when I instantly hated it.
My mascara, Essence The False Lashes mascara in Dramatic Volume
Unleashed, wasn’t even waterproof
and I couldn’t get it off with a cotton pad doused in this. I gave it the benefit of the doubt and washed
my face first with my cleanser the following night (along with Bio-Oil in the
water) and it performed marginally better.
For R100, I expected miracles.
Also, don’t get this stuff in your eye – it burns like a mother.
On a
positive note, I gave it a third chance on the weekend to remove my foundation after
a night out and it did the job pretty well.
However, for someone like me who only wears a full face of makeup once a
week and will still need to buy an eye makeup remover, this is not worth the
money at all.
Nivea Gentle Eye Makeup
Remover
And
that brings us to this product. I used
to use this eye makeup remover all the time, before I really got into
makeup. It did the job for the
mascara/eyeliner I used, and it kind of still does.
The
main reason it’s on this list is because I only bought it when I was broke and
couldn’t afford my normal Clinique eye makeup remover at the end of
January. So, no, it’s not useless and it
does an ok job after a bit of scrubbing on the night and then the morning
after, but I should have just saved my money for Ol’ Faithful.
Essence 2 in 1 Powder and
Makeup
Maybe
I’m just the idiot who misunderstood all the YouTube videos about this
makeup. I assumed since it was a powder
and makeup it would have more of a creamy consistency in the packaging and then
set with a powder finish, which is how it looked to me in all the videos I
watched. So, off I went to buy this in
the lightest shade possible (as I usually do).
I
swear, I looked like an English cricketer – you know how they smear those big
white strips of sunscreen across their noses?
Yes, just call me Kevin Pietersen. Under normal circumstances, Essence
makeup oxidises instantly with me, so I naturally assumed that this powder makeup would do the same, being so light and all.
Ok,
maybe I am the idiot. It does provide a
heap of coverage though, and let’s be honest, I’m far too cheap to not use
anything I paid real pink monies for. I
use it every day now on my T-zone and then blend it out with the Essence
Mattifying Compact powder in Light Beige, which tends to tone down my bright
white under-eyes. I don’t know if this
would be any good to set your concealer with, despite the brightening effect,
because it’s really thick and I imagine it would crease regardless.
Essence Matt Matt Matt
Longlasting Lipgloss
I’m
sorry, Essence, but what is this even?
The only positive thing I could imagine using this for is to hydrate
your matte liquid lipstick if your lips aren’t feeling too great. It also smells nice, but that's not why I buy lipstick/lipgloss.
Firstly,
let’s not even pretend that this is matte.
(Also, is the German spelling for matte ‘matt’?). This lipgloss doesn’t actually dry down at
all, so it’s never actually matte. Why lie?
Secondly,
I reapplied this several times during the day.
It literally transfers for nothing – especially onto my teeth. I get that you’re on the lower rung of the
cosmetics ladder in terms of your sister brands, but the South African market
is crying out for real longlasting
matte lipsticks. Julian absolutely hates this product because I can't even kiss him 'hello' without it instantly transferring to his face - which his pet peeve.
Get
it together!
Wet ‘n Wild Colouricon Faux
Lashes
DO
NOT GET THIS LASH GLUE IN YOUR EYE!
What
a fiasco. I actually can’t even
objectively review the lashes because I couldn’t even be bothered to try them
on with a different lash glue.
This
has to be the worst lash glue I have ever encountered in my life. I was so excited when I saw that it was clear
(after I had to cut the top of the bottle open), but oh my goodness, never
again! The glue is super thin and covered the entire lash. When I tried to put the lash on, after trying
to clean as much of the glue off as I could, it wouldn’t stick and then a big
blob that I had missed fell in my eye and I thought I would be One-Eyed Patsy
forever because it burnt even worse than the micellar water.
Done.
Eylure Pre-Glued lashes –
Texture No. 117
No,
they’re not. They are not
pre-glued. If they are, I have been
using eyelash glue wrong my entire life and lashes simply do not adhere to my
eyelids in general.
Apart
from that lie, these lashes actually looked stunning on me – after I applied
another coat of lash glue (also from Eylure).
I also like the “pre-glued” packaging, because now I don’t have to stick
my lashes on old sticky tape to hold them in place. The holder keeps them right where they
belong.
So,
that’s my rant over for this week. I
think as much as it’s taking time, I’m starting to really get into blogging. I get weeks where I’m super busy and have no
time, or weeks like last week, where all I wanted to do was read my book in my
spare time (it’s a full history of Jerusalem, if anyone is interested). But that's cool, because why would you want to put any more pressure on yourself after a full day of traffic and work?
Thank
you for coming back and I wish you all the love and light in the universe until
next week ♡♡♡